I’d honly binned living with my forever famberly for a few weeks when I did decide that I need to start keeping a diary. In case I did need it in the future as hevidence. Or somefing like that. Turns out I didn’t need it as hevidence cos I did like living here very quite a lot and a lot. But peoples did very quite like reading it and some did say it was actual funny and did make their day. And my blog even made it to the finals of the Blog Awards !! So I has carried on writing about my life and my famberly.
I do have a Nouchy. A teeny-tiny-weeny-not-an-hemergency Nouchy. How I managed to do it on the sofa though I has got No Hidea. But I are very havoiding it for now.
But for Heckington Stanley's sake do Not. Tell. Mum. Cos she'll try to Put Cream On It. And I does not want cream.
Or kisses. Definitely. Not. Kisses on my poorly-woorly-ickly-toesie-woesies.
I just want to be able to have a quite snooze with my feets sticking out and not have to worry about getting hunwanted and huneeded Medical Hattention.
Honestly, that blinking woman finks she's a cross between James Herriot and Dr Quinn Medicine Woman. She's not. She's just got a tub of sudocrem wot she flails about as soon as anyboddedy heven finks of having a scrape.
Pat Berliner SchlueterOh Worzel, I finks you need stitches and a big fuge badinage on that, probably a hilezethbeetroot Kolla too! Definitely don’t let yo mama see that or she will have you in the dawgs orspital wiv your leg in subtraction!
My luffly facebbok friend Kym Unthank did send me a message the other day wondering if I had dunned disappearing and if everyfing was very ok.
Which it is. But it turns out that the peoples of facebook have dunned fiddling with their Hal-go-rhythms cos they do want peoples to see himportant stuff rather than all the blinking rubbish wot sometimes pops up on your facebook.
In very general I do fink that I will come out of this fing very quite well cos I are very, very lucky that lots of my friends do actual talk to me rather than sticking their fumbs in strange places.
So please do remembering that if you want to keep seeing your luffly boykin, then you does have to do talking and not just fumb-uppering.
I will do my bestest best to do talking back whenever I do get the chance as well cos I do love hearing from you all.
So there I was, minding my own actual business rolling around on the sofa when suddern-blinkingly somefing did hurt. And did making me yelp wot was a Bad Hidea and very not to be repeated.
Yelping is a habsolutely sure way of gettering attention which is the Last Fing I do want when I has got a hurty somefing. Hespecially when I has not had a chance to work out a) wot is hurting and b) how much it does hurt.
Fortunately, Mum did not himmediately come rushering in. She did do waiting for a bit so I could work some fings out for my-actual-self. So I did gettering off the sofa wot let me work out it was one of my feets wot did hurt. And then I did a bit more of a wander about and did a bit of limping wot nearly very got Mum finking she did need to Hinvestigate. Wot I do personally fink is A Disaster when I has a minor-not-bleeding-or-choking hurt fing.
Heventually, we did hagree that Mum could do hanging about in the door way whilst I did sorting myself out. And not looking. And not googling. And she could take a photo of my quite actual concerned face from a long-very-way-away. But she is not allowed to touch unless I are still limping in twenty minutes... ... See MoreSee Less
Jane PlantOh poor you Worzel. It must be wot anuvver lady did said before me. You must quite actually have lay lied on hit funny like. I doos this sumtimeses and when I doos woke up it bloomin well 'urts!
I is oping it gets betterer very soooon.
Worzel WoofaceI are quite very pleased to say that I has dunned NUFFINK wotsoever a very tall. Well, I did hobviously but there is no pain or limping and I has heven just very haccepted a bit of raw cabbage which is the honly vegetababble I does like. But I are quite very glad Mum did not do epic hinterfering so now I can carry on having a fabumazing evening and not have to get over the hole FIDDLING fing as well!
I are quite very not pleased to say that this week I has not been a Pri-Orry-Tree. And I has binned hexpected to be patient and tolly-rant of this fing. Wot I does fink is most hunfair. And not to my liking a very tall.
Also there is not a very nuff doors in my house and the ones that we do have are getting shutted with me on the Wrong. Side of Them.
It's all because of that blinking Mostyn. And Gandhi. Mainly Gandhi if I are very quite honest cos he will not learn to hignore Mostyn. Mostyn is in a fuge crate whilst he does gettering better and Gandhi lies on the bed and just Stares. At. Him. Well, at the crate. He can't actual see Mostyn cos Mum has put a blanket over it so that there can be no I-contact hunless hunder supervision.
Mum has gonned Back to Basics with Mostyn and Gandhi. Fortunately, both of them is super-friendly with Mum and so she has binned opening Mostyn's crate and stroking both the cats at the same time. And then she turns round and strokes both the cats with the hand that was stroking the other one. It's called scent-swapping wot we are doing with bits of bed as well but it's all very slow and takes time. Lots of time. It might work. Heventually. But at the moment both cats do lookering a bit actual hoffended when they get The Other Hand. And then there is a lot of pah-pah-PAH washering and lickering to get the smell of the other cat off themselves as soon as Mum stops. Hand the house smells odd. None of the hoomans can smell it but we've got these fings that plug in to the helectricals that are supposed to make the cats fink everyfing is fabumazing. Noboddedy knows if they is working though cos they daren't turn them off incase All Hell Breaks Loose.
It's got to work to be very quite honest cos we is stuck between a Rock and a Nard Place currently...
Mostyn is now having to eat an hexpensive diet and might get this bladder problem come back so noboddedy is hinterested in making him their cat. Not even some of the rescues we has dunned talking to. Cos he is too hexpensive. The honly solution we has binned offered is to take Gandhi away. But Gandhi has lived here for 4 years and that just seems very quite wrong. Hand totally Hawful. And isn't going to happen...
So somehow, we has got to work out a way of getting Mostyn and Gandhi to tolly-rate each other and give them both some spaces in the house where they can wee-lax without having hystericals. Which is where all the shutting of doors comes in. Cos currently Mostyn is spending the night on Mum's bed so he doesn't get lonely. And that means I are Not Welcome in there. Cos I might do stressing Mostyn out. And all this scent-swapping stuff is not somefing I are very allowed to join in with. Cos I are one scent too many.
If anyboddedy clever in the Cat Department has got any cunning plans, we would love to hear them. Cos I could really, wheely do with a walk. And Mum says there isn't a very nuff wine in the world currently... ... See MoreSee Less
Carol DriverOh dear worzel I am sure you are still no 1 in house this is just temporary 😊
1 week ago
Jane PlantOoh Worzel you is so very handsome and gorjuss 😍❤😘
1 week ago
Claudia Von HachtIt's a long way when two cats have decided to not like each other. There is a medicine called Zylkene, it calms them down but to be honest I wouldn't recommend it, because it changes the personality of the cat. I tried it with Henry when he was so upset about Lillys presence that he started to pee at my furniture. (And he didn't even stop peeing!)
As far as I know, separating them and starting all new is the best way, but needs patience, discipline and long time. Good luck.
Louisa HawkenOh luffly boykins tis a Nard won alright. Keep beink luffly xxx
1 week ago
Mary HatwellWiesel you make my world a better place. .. you make me smile. Thank you xx
1 week ago
Mary HicksWhat a beautiful photo of you. You are a very Handsome Boykin.
Cats can be a bother. I’ve got three.
Hope you get the problem sorted.
1 week ago
Chris Forest-PotterPoor Worzel. Not good when family don't get on but sounds like mummy doin a good job. Be patient and strong
1 week ago
Sue HardyI tried scent swapping and the calming stuff when I got Beulah as a puppy and the cats did not like her invading their space. Not one little bit. Think that at aged 15 they were just too old for change. So they lived upstairs and she was kept downstairs by stair gates. As to urinary problems the prescription food doesn't work out much more expensive than good quality ordinary food and our Sylvester lived on it from aged 8 to a few weeks off 19 when we had to have him pts as his kidneys were giving up.
1 week ago
Susan BennettPoor Worzel , hope the cats sort themselves out soon for your sake and your very,very,patient mums sake too ! 😉 x
1 week ago
Catherine SidekOh dear, poor Worzel... Hope all the door closing etc works soon so you can get back to what counts for normal in your house! Xx
1 week ago
Nabanita BanerjeePoor, Poor,Worzel. What injustice ! And that too forca cat. But you know you are a good boykin . That is why Mum is asking you to hadjust just for a while. Things will get back to normal soon. ❤❤❤
Deborah ShawWe would like to hear any cunning plans too Worzel 'cos this is happening at our house. Alfie came to live with us a year ago & he is a very mixed up moggy . We've had cat for a billion years but we can't work him out. He keeps 'going for' our 2 other cats & thinks he's boss but with our ginger tom , well , he tries to mount him ! And yet when there is food around he waits until our other cat Thomas is done. He is castrated . We have to keep doors closed too & at night he has too sleep in our downstairs loo 'cos he can't be trusted ! Confused !!! Yep we are ! Answers please
Evelyn StolzeLovely photo of our handsome boykins, our Athel lives with a 9 and 17 year old moggies, the older one does hignoring him and hisses if he comes too close, the younger one and him have a strange relationship, Athel will wash him and they curled up close on grandma's (mine) bed last week with no room for me!! THem puddies can be a bit pesky Worzel xx
1 week ago · 1
Pam CohenWow! What a tricky one. Good luck to you all xx
Dawn McKennaDear me Worzel, you is having some proberlemms hand I does not have hany hexerlent plans to help you wiv this very hactual issoo. But you is an hexerlent luffly boykins, and you is very good at this pri-orry-terising fingy, hand you is halso very good at comoonicatring wiv other luffly fluffy creetures, so maybe you could have an hexerlent one to one chat wiv Gandhi and sort of tell him wot he has got to do, hand tell him how to make proper friends wiv mostyn so that you can do sleepering on mums bed again before you gets too blinkering old to be hable to climb onto the blinkering fing wivout a bunker-up-step fingy.
I are quite very actual pleased to say that 2000-hand-actual-18 has started hexactly like I want it to very go on. Last night we had comp-knee. The hole point of the comp-knee was dinner according to the hoomans but they did very Missing the Point. As far as I was concerned the hole point of the comp-knee was Pip and Merlin and fings were fabumazing! I has not seen Pip and Merlin for a quite very Long. Time and Louise, Pip and Merlin's mum, did wonder if we really, wheely wanted them to come round too but Mum did do hinsisting. Even though there was to be A Dinner.
Pip and Merlin has not dunned changing a very tall. Pip did spend the first 3 hours shouting at everyboddedy, hespecially Dad cos he was kind and did rescuing a toy from hunder the sofa. After that, every toy was shoved hunder where Dad was sittering and he was tolded and tolded and Tol-DED to get them all out. Pip fort this was fabumazing and that Dad was an exerlent playmate.
Merlin - who is the shortest lurcher in the hole wide world - did want to play a lot and a lot and I did remembering to do lying down so that we could do playing proper-like. If I don't do lying down everyfing just passes straight over his head. Well, I do passing straight over his head and he gets very quite confuddled. Or has to stand on his Dad.
At The Dinner, there was somefing called Croo-ditties. In very general I does fink they is green and orange and mainly not chicken wings and not for Worzel. But Pip and Merlin did a lot and a lot of I'll-sit-if-you-gimme-one so bits of carrot and coo-cummber was handed out to us doggies. Pip and Merlin were very quite fusey-tastic about the Croo-ditties so I did decide as they were my actual guests that I should do joining in. Cos it is plite.
Dad did look quite very Opeful when I tooked the bit of carrot. He fort he had founded a solution to his I've-got-veggietababbles-on-my-plate and I-has-got-to-be-plite-in-comp-knee and Mum's wittling on about Curvy. Again.
But it's no good. I aren't going to be any good as a Partner-ink-Ryhme after all cos I aren't keen on them neither to be very quite honest. I did a lot of chewing and pretendering to like them and then spatted the bits out all over the carpet. And I heven managed to shove one down the back of the sofa. Happarently. Right where Dad was sitting... ... See MoreSee Less
Sonia LovellMillie loves carrots if there is no other tasty morsels !! But Izzie thinks she's not a vegetarian !!
2 weeks ago
Linda CollinsFank oo Worzel! I are not haffing a very good day and you made me laff...a very lot! xx
Ps. Down the back of sofa is not good, back of sofa stuff goes quite very smelly and hoomans get huppity bout smelly😕
2 weeks ago · 3
Susan BennettOh Worzel , you have made me laugh so much. You do be telling such entertaining stories. X
2 weeks ago
Carol DriverLooks like you had fun with your friends worzel my lab sam will eat almost anything
Carlyne McHughEverything goes down back of our sofa tickerly socks (even clean ones) x
2 weeks ago · 1
Evelyn StolzeOh Worzel I luv your stories, I see you have a Mr Piggy too👍our Athel luvs his to bits, glad you all had a good day xx
2 weeks ago
Carole ThompsonI too have been having a bad day but I've just read your post.
You make me laugh so much. You are the most fabumazing dog in the world.
Thank you for reminding me that there is fun and laughter in this world. Xx
Mostyn is HOME! He camed home last night With. His. Tube. wot was very quite hinteresting and a bit very scary for Mum but she did manage boofully.
Today he has had his tube tooked out and I are pleased to say that fings seem to be working very quite ok in the wee department.
Hunfortunately, he has got to keep the hateful buster collar on for another couple of days so that he does not do too much very hinterfering with his gentleman bits.
We has ordered some FELIWAY diffusers wot might help Gandhi and Mostyn be friends. Dad finks they might all start acting stoned. I has got No. Hidea wot he is talking about but as far as I are concerned, so long as they stop squabbling and making Mostyn ill, then they can act like blinking boulders for all I do care.
Lisa StanfordFeliway is awesome stuff! We used to foster “feral” mums with kittens and the Feliway certainly helped them to be more calm around the crazy humans who kept stealing their poo, weighing the kittens and bringing more food. It helped when we moved house and had to resettle 5 cats too. Hope it helps Mostyn and Gandhi to be friends too! 🐈🐈
Sandra RobertsonGlad Mostyn is Home!! I have a calming collar for my cat who gets stressed at things, it seems to work on him as when strange dogs come in he just lies in his bed and hisses at them rather than running away!! I get it from Amazon, it’s a Sentry Calming Collar!
2 weeks ago
Carroll TrevorSo glad you are back home Mostyn. I use Feliway for my two cats when they get into scraps with each other. I segregate one with the Feliway and it soon seems to calm her down she is not so darned nasty to her sister. Hope it works, for everyone's sake,
Mostyn has dunned a wee. Well, that isn't quite actual haccurate... Boris did sticking A Tube up his gentleman bits wot did a wee for him. So now he is not going to hexplode.
I are mainly finking about the Mostyn-not-hexploding good noos bit and not about the Sticking a Tube up hinside his gentleman bits part. Dad says he is also finking hard about not finking about that too very much. Mum reckons it's a Boy Fing and tried to do telling Dad all about Cat Hanatomy but he just winced a lot and we both does very hagree that sometimes Mum is not Sensy-tive to our forts and feelings a very nuff. And also that cats aren't built anyfing like wot we did fink and why are all his gentleman bits in the wrong blinking place. And surely that can't be comfy. A very tall.
Mostyn has a big hinfection and he could get all blocked up again so he has got to stay with Boris-the-Vet and his tube for a couple of days until he can do a wee without the tube and without getting blocked up again.
In the mean time, Dad and me has very decided that Mr Google very sometimes does have Too Much Hinformation. And so does Mum...
(fanking oo kindly to Washington State Universally for the picture) ... See MoreSee Less
Claudia Von HachtI know human gentleman who had to have tubes up their bits to not explode or doing dying and they say it's uncomfortable but not THAT bad especially not as bad as dying!
My thoughts are with Mostyn and all paws are crossed.
Sue HardyPoor Mostyn. Our Sylvester, who we had to say goodbye to last year aged nearly 19, had that trouble when he was about 8. He was looking at his little boy bits puzzled that they wouldn't work so rushed him to the vet. The vet told me if I'd left it till the morning he would have died. He had to stay on special food for the rest of his life (he'd sneak round and finish his sister's as well!) but it obviously worked as he lived another 11 years. Costing me a fortune!! But miss him so much now. Hope Mostyn makes such a good recovery xx
3 weeks ago · 2
Elaine EyreWell, glad he’s weed. Hope Boris soon has Mostyn back to health xxx
3 weeks ago · 1
Georgina CoyleMostyn must be so relieved, & much more comfortable now he has done a wee (with help). Relief all round! Hope he's better very soon. Thanks for the update!! 💕💕
Anne McclearyNot sure I understand that diagram but since I'm not a cat and don't have a cat it doesn't matter! I'm more of a dog person!
Glad Mostyn is on the mend and hope Worzel never needs tubes!!!!
3 weeks ago · 2
Claire AstonI never knew that's where the gentleman bits were on a cat, thanks Worzel! My cat Leo blocked once from stress when he cut his paw, the vet was about to do the tube thing when Leo got sick of being squeezed and weed all over the place!
Please can I have your finking forts for Mostyn tonight. Today Mostyn has binned very quite grumpy and there has been a lot and a lot of growling and hissing. Hespecially at Gandhi.
We was all very quite disappointed about this cos just recently fings have binned calmer and there has been less singing songs of Hancestors wot was getting a bit boring and like a Broken Record. And could they give-it-a-rest.
But today, Mostyn did get very very quite cross and did hiding under the sofa wot is not his usual sulking spot. And then later, he did slink in the Hoffice and choosed to do Lying. In. My. Bed.
I was an exerlent boykin and did bog off to the big bed. Cos I was not welcome. And also Mostyn has claws and was Not Hafraid to Use Them. A very tall.
And then Mostyn did start to make some very quite odd noises. He did sound like a car trying to start on a frosty morning. Cats are not allowed to sound like cars trying to start badly in our house so Mum decided to take him to see Boris the Vet. She fort that he had dunned twisting himself or gotted an habcess from a previous squabble. Boris fort that too. Untill he did give Mostyn a bit of a squeeze. And then nearly get his face rearranged. Which would be a bit of a shame cos Boris is quite very And Some. And dishies.
It does turn out that Mostyn has got a Blocked Up Bladder. Currently we does not know why. We just know that we need to get it hunblocked so he can do a wee. And stop growling and trying to take off people's noses.
Once this has binned dunned we will know wot the problem is. And how much hovertime Dad is going to need to do. ... See MoreSee Less
Ken BatemanMe and Lady is sending our luffs and hugs carefully as we dus not want to be losing our hiballs.Get well soon Mostyn.❤️
3 weeks ago
Karen RaspinPoor Mostyn! Blocked up bladders are often the result of stress (and I think its fair to say he has some of that). Has Mum tried using Feliway or Pet Remedy to calm him (and everyone else) down? They are surprisingly good, but best remedy might be to get rid of the stress?
Laura ScottThis is Harry (who crossed to Rainbow Bridge just before Christmas). He also used to get blocked up bladders for no actual blinkin reasons. In the end he had to live on Royal canin urinary wet food/biscuits to stop the crystals building up in his bladder. He was a not quite right in the head cat who liked to sit in the road to wash his legs or tummy. We do miss him though.
3 weeks ago · 1
Ruth LoOh poor Mostyn Worzel, lets hope they can unblock him quick. We know Boris we think and he is very kind isn’t he xx
Me and my old friend 2000-hand-very-17 has binned having a chat. And a fink about some of the fings we should probababbly be mentioning or heven warning you about. Cos we is hexperienced and you is just about to be very borned and we fort you might like to know wot to actual quite hexpect from me and my famberley.
First of very all: the cats. Yes, I does realise that there is too blinking many of them. Blame Mum. Dad didded his best after Gipsy did do dying but Fate and Hirony gotted in the way. Just when we fort we'd honly have four to deal with Mostyn did arrive. So we is back to five again. Mostyn and Gandhi still do look hidentical and they is still squabbling and I don't fink that will calm down any time soon. Mabel is a bit well, bonkers but if you is gentle with her, she is probababbly the easiest one of them all. Mouse is losing her marbles and it is your himportant work, 2000-hand-actual-18 to make sure she doesn't losing any more of them cos otherwise fings could get painful. And hexpensive. Frank is already Not Speaking To You. I are sorry about that fing but Mum's already putted him on a diet. Your job is to remove 2kg from his tummy so 2000-hand-quite-19 doesn't have to deal with him having a Art Attack.
I don't fink you will have to do too much worrying about Dad in 2000-hand-actual-18. He is very quite generally well behaved and honly after a Quiet Life. The man from Practical Boat Owner would quite like it if you could teach him about Full-stops-n-Catapult-Letters but it isn't hessential cos he's managed most of 2000-hand-very-17 without hunderstanding wot they is for and I hexpect they will very cope if you does fail.
Please be very nice and kind to the previously ginger one. She has binned quite actual brave for 2000-hand-very-17 and although we has not dunned saying very much about it, the end of 2000-hand-very-17 has bought some Big Changes. Wot she is doing very well with. It is your most himportant work to, well, keep her alive. And happy. Anyfing else you can do will be a fuge bonus.
The fuge ginger boyman is 23 now. And for some quite very actual complercated and confuddling reason he is becoming Bwoody. I aren't sure wot this Bwoody fing is but it is Not Allowed. There is to be habsolutely No. More. Bwoody feelings or talk for at least another five hole years. Mum says. You must do a lot and a lot of talking to Kat his girlfriend about the hole hidea being redickerless. She is very sensibibble fortunately. And also does wanting A Creer. Mum is Not. Ready to be a Granny. Mum is not sure she will ever be ready but this is somefing for 2000-hand-blinking-25 to worry about as far as she is concerned. And Not You.
I fink I should do warning you about Mum. Every so blinking often she has these hideas. Hespecially when she does do finking she has some Spare Time. Can you keep remindering her that she does not have any Spare Time. And she can't squeeze nuffink else in. And any spare time wot she does have, Dad wants to go sailing and I want to go for a walk. And we does need more Cunning Plans like a hole in the head.
By the end of 2000-hand-actual-18, I will has dunned writing FOUR books. And Mum and Chantal will have dunned writing two. It is blinking very hard work writing my books and I fink I has halmost got wot some peoples call a Boddedy Of Work. I hope so cos if people starting finking that fing, p'raps they will stop trying to persuade my boddedy to work to do Sit. Cos it is quite hard a very nuff work doing all this writing without worrying about where my bum is...
2000-hand-very-17 has binned a mixed year. We has lost some himportant and kind peoples who did mean a lot and a lot to us and our luffly-but-quite-terrifrying cat Gipsy did do dying. But there have been some fabumazing hadventures and some hexciting fings happen as well.
From your luffly boykin Worzel Wooface
PS - if you could sort out #lucyslaw and also #endbsl that would be fabumazing. No pressure or nuffink but quite a lot of us doggys are quite very actual relying on you. ... See MoreSee Less
Susan BennettHappy Noo Near Worzel,all the cats and you fabulous famberley 😁 🍸 x
3 weeks ago
Ken BatemanOh Worzel I is sorry to hear Dat Gypsy has dunned dying,I has just finished reading all of your books and I did reely henjoyed dem,so I does'nt have any plaint's to management.I would like to wishes you and your luffy fambly a very happy noo year and I hopes fings gets better for the previously ginger one.I looks forward to reading your next book and I would luff to meet you but I fink I would overwhelm you mate,cos you is smaller dan me erm by quite a bit I finks.I is 35''tts and dus weigh in at 48.7k.and my brakes is none existants,my Dad sez I takes two yards to get to 46mph but two football pitches an a cwicket pitch to stops.Oh and I dus not do sit either unless der is a chair or bench.I will puts a picchur of me an Dad people watchin so yoose can see me sits and one of me an mum on a steamy train lol.But for now ave a good new year and I look forward to reading you adventures on here.
3 weeks ago · 5
Janice DillnuttHappy New year you and your luvly famberly and special good wishes to the previously ginger one, hope 2019 and is good to her 😊
The hole Noo Near Revolutions fing is happening again. Quite very often I has founded myself on the wrong end of these hooman hideas... they start finking about Sit and then there was the hole Being. Friends. With. Mabel heppy-sode wot I would mainly rather forget. And so would Mabel.
Anyway... this year I has decidered to Get In First and very hinflict the Noo Near Revolution onto someboddedy else and I has dunned volunteering Frank.
Frank I are very quite ashamed to say is FAT. There is no other kind way of saying this fing. Well, there are lots of kinder ways of saying it but I does fink sometimes you has to say what you see. And there is too blinking much of Frank to see and I does not fink it is Elfie. He weighs nearly 9kg. Which is flipping fuge for a a cat! And there is bits of him wot is definitely not big bones. More like fuge, stonking tummy to be very quite honest.
I could do helpering with the hole running around and hexercise to get him fit but he Never. Moves. And so chasing him about would be like chasing a brick around... I would do all of the around and he would do the brick bit. And just sit there.
Fortunately, Mum has dunned agreeing with me cos I did show her some hevidence. I nudged him a bit in the belly and he didn't move. Well, his belly did but the rest of him just stayed where he was. And Mum couldn't very havoid seeing that Frank was so fuge and lazy and wobbly that Somefing Needed to be Dunned.
She says Frank is a bit of a hembarrassment. He is luffly and friendly and cuddly but she is supposed to know how to look after animals all proper-like and she really, wheely should be doing betterer. Dad I fink feels a bit very sorry for Frank but mainly he's relieved that me and Mum have decided that it's not his turn to be revolutioned.
So 2018 is going to be the year to Get Frank Fit. Whether he likes it or very not. ... See MoreSee Less
Claudia Von HachtFrank is very handsome and not fat at all. But I agree with the worries about his health. Keeping him on a diet with food for 4 more cats seems difficult though. I put both cats on diet when Henry needed to loose weight.
Diana PetereinI fink Frank is very quite handsome and just the right size. Hoomans needs to haccept kitties come in all kinds of sizes just like hoomans do. So Frank can come stay wif me till that revolution stuffs goes away.
Gwynneth ManningEye duz bee finkn Frank iznt thee honly one wot do be needin two doo sumfin about bein big, hespeshlly hafter eye haz finishered heatin hall thee choccies wot peeples haz leftered on hour coffee table! I dursent actcherley be tellin yew how meny kgs eye are wayin!
Yiota Panayi DavisHe’s a beauty but 9kilos is way too heavy, I must agree. He’s probably too heavy to move around a lot and so, although he’s going to sulk, he’ll be a lot happier when he’s slimmer, bless him xx
I are off to visit my Grandad Pickles in Cornwall today. And his hills. Mainly his hills I do very hexpect. And his stream. And Auntie Sue's cats.
I are really, wheely lookering foward to it cos it was fabuamazing last time and there were lots and lots of hinteresting smells. And fings to roll in.
I will be back after Crispmas. I does hope you has a super time with your famberleys. And if your honly famberly is a luffly boykin or girlkin - remember that they is famberley too. And they don't hargue or complain about wot time peoples lay in bed until. And they don't talk over the telly. So it might not be actual perfick but it isn't as bad as very all that. ... See MoreSee Less
Roderick TassinariHave a great time, and I wish you and your famberley a very Happy Christmas.
1 month ago
Georgina CoyleMerry Christmas to you & all your famberly, Worzel!! I hope you all have a fabumazing time in Cornwall! Still reading your book a bit at a time to make it last longerer, lol! Looking forward to reading all about your Christmas holibobs & your hadventures in the New Year. Lots of love from Stephen, Tara & me. Xxx 💖🐾💖🐾💖🐾
1 month ago
Tig Siobhan Seaton GeorgeMerry Crispmas Worzel from Ink and Beedoo , hope you find loads of lovely smells to roll in , and make sure Mum and Dad have plenty of ketchup to wash you in and get rid of that overpowering fox poo cos otherwise you might put them all off thier crispmas din dins haha 😂🤣 xx
Just recently, when we has binned on a walk and metted some nice and hinteresting peoples, Mum has binned asked Ha-rold-Izzy? Alot. And then when Mum does tell them they does all say the Same. Fing wot is: Izzy Reely?
I does find this all very quite confuddling. I aren't Harold. Or Reely. And I are definitely not Izzy. I are Worzel and I are four years old. Wot isn't old but it isn't a puppy. Which is the Hole Point happarently.
Cos peoples do seem to fink that my hello-luffly-boykin greetings are quite, well puppy-ish wot is quite an actual very hachievement when you is the same size as a table.
I did fink I might have to be Hoffended and do Complaints to the Management about people finking I was a baby-puppykins but Dad says it is all very ok. It's all about Hattitude to Life and you're-as-old-as-you-fink-you-are.
Mum finks she feels about 83 which is why she always does taking the photos cos it doesn't hinvolve running around or having to brush your hair. Dad says he's 27 in his head which is why Mum manages to take so many daft photos of him.
But now Dad's 27-year-old-head has caughted up with his 54-year-old-knees. And he is regretting running around the marsh with me. Big time badly... ... See MoreSee Less
Barrie LewinsWhen I first rescued Sam he was 4 years old (best Guess) and my next door neighbor said "what on earth is that?" she was an educated lady and her husband was a tv presenter I still laugh about it
1 month ago · 4
Sara BicknellOdd that, my 54 year old knees often catch up with me too, often after a session on the park with Dodger. Dodger is ‘free an arf’ and does greeting just like you, as you know, bouncing tables the pair of you.
Cheryl GriffinMy doggie is 10, (yorkie), and i am 66😊😊😊. We are about the same age now and running ANYwhere, is over. You keep up the puppy antics as long as you can. My Felix still runs a bit and people think he's much younger cuz he's a silly pup at heart💜💜💜
Ann HuntI am Izzy and I ams a really coolest Cairn. I have not beenie in my new Palace very long but they obey me and if I doees not want to pooI I doesent so they wait. They stands outside with a torchie type thing and they get very cold. I dont cos I am a Cairn and Ise have a double coat. They will get used to Artictie conditions not doubt.X
1 month ago · 1
Jilly GreenHappy Christmas worzel, keep you’re wonderful stories coming, they make me laugh and on a grey winters day that’s what you need. Xxx
Worzel Wooface is a lurcher with issues. He's been adopted by a family that's very slightly chaotic, has 4 cats and take him sailing. It's a blog in the purest sense of the word: a diary of the every day life of a rescue lurcher. The blog is sometimes heart-breaking, always honest but mostly funny.?...
Nine years ago (before I was even borned...) Mouse did do disappearing from my famberly.
Four years ago - about a month before I was dopped - she did do gettering found again. She was missing for 5 years.
To celly-brate Mouse has just dunned biting Frank's tail and then hissing at him when he looked hoffended. Cos he flicked it in her face and he should know betterer.
I fink Mouse takes the hole I-must-not-get-losted-again fing a bit too actual far to be very quite honest. She never goes anywhere. Hever. She honly goes out for about ten minutes every day and honly then when she has no blinking choice or when Mum starts to worry she is going to hexplode. She'd prefer to find somewhere quiet-and-behind-the-sofa and they-won't-notice-just-this-once.
They do notice. Mainly cos I do get far too very hinterested in Wot's Behind The Sofa. And then there is several days of picking Mouse up and puttering her outside and lots of talk about you-are-a-revolting-lazy-cat and will-you-please-go-outside.
But not get lost. Very, very himportantly not get lost. Cos that did break Mum's art.. ... See MoreSee Less
URGENTLY NEED TO FIND THIS CATS OWNER....
Female grey long haired Cat. Looks young to middle age. Very friendly. Found Wangford area. Please enquire at surgery on 01502 578999 if you can help get this cat back with her original owners.
Laura GowersI wonder where Mouse went for all that time. Do you think she dopped another fambley for a while? My JackCat went missing for 7 weeks and that was the longest 7 weeks ever. So glad Mouse came home x
1 month ago
Storkey WilliamsI'm so happy Mouse is back with her loving family. I hope she remembered everyone when she arrived home. We'll never know but perhaps maybe her time outdoors was a terrifying experience hence the reason why she is afeared to be outside. Maybe perhaps if daddy or someone you know is a handyman an outdoor cat enclosure may help Mouse overcome her fear of the great outdoors and maybe not. If she has a weight problem she can exercise in the enclose, e,g platforms, steps, platform runs she can leap on/of and run up and down on. Just a thought! Lub's and nose nudges! 💞😚💖
The winnerer of my books for grown-ups is Eunice Holmes! But before everyboddedy does do being disappointed, I has got another very compertishon!!!
This one is to win one of my fabumazing children's books. And there is a question wot has binned set by Mum. Cos she did write it. Not me. Cos my Ingerlish isn't actual very good enuff for small peoples happarently...
Anyway - Mums says:
In Worzel says Hello! Will you be my friend? Worzel makes a new friend. When Chantal Bourgonje and I were creating the books, we gave the little girl a name but we've never told anyone what it is.
Can you guess what it is? You have until Sunday at 8pm to guess the name. If more than one person guesses correctly, we'll draw a name from a hat. ... See MoreSee Less
I will be choosering a winner this actual very evening so please make sure you has dunned entering before 8pm! ... See MoreSee Less
*** Compertishon! ***
To do winnering all 3 of my actual books wot I has dunned writing so far, please do tag a friend wot could really, wheely do with these actual books in their life.
Please do liking my page as well so that I can contact you. You can also do sharing this post if you want cos I are sure you has got more than one friend who could do with more giggles and smiles in their actual life.
I will choose a winner on Friday 15th December.
It's that time of year when peoples are panicking about wot to get each other for Christmas. I don't know if you is finking like this yet but there is one actual fing you shouldn't get anyboddedy for Christmas.
Puppies. Or kittens. Or anyfing with a heartbeat to be actual honest. Puppies and Christmas don't go well together. Peoples fink a cute and fluffy puppy under the Christmas Tree will make everyone feel warm and fuzzy. Well, it might for a day. Then everyone will want to play with their new toys and Uncle Bob will drink too much cider and trip over the ickle puppy hiding under the wrapping paper, people will leave bits of chocolate and mince pies lying around wot the puppy will eat and then get poorly sick. And no-one will remember to take the puppy into the garden every 40 minutes cos they'll be distracted watching Doctor Who. Or will have falled asleep cos they eated too much trifle.
If you fink a puppy might fit into your famberly, then I has got a cunning plan. Every day this week, go and stand in the middle of your garden, once an hour, for 10 minutes. Even if it's raining or there's something really himportant you want to watch on the telly. If this still feels like somefing you would like to do in January, then wait until then to get a puppy. And go along to a rescue centre because there will be lots there. All the ones that peoples fort would be cute and cuddly at Christmas wot they forgotted would still need playing with and training and walking after everyboddedy wented back to work and that hadn't managed to get house trained in between Downton Abbey on Christmas Day and the Noo Near Party hangover they've woken up with in 2016.
Socks make exerlent Christmas presents. Or confuser games. Donations of dog food and blankets to homeless doggys in rescues are bestest of all. But please don't be getting a puppy for Christmas. Fanking oo kindly.
Storkey Williams#OscarsLaw - - IN AUSTRALIA TODAY WE JUST MADE HISTORY...............🐶🐕🐶🐈🐱🐈
Victoria has become the first state in Australia to ban puppy farms once and for all! Commencing From July 1st 2018....
This finishes what we started – ending puppy farming, banning the sale of breeders’ puppies and kittens in pet shops, and cracking down on the online sale of dogs and cats.👍👍👍👍👍👍 .NOW LETS MAKE #OSCARSLAW AUSTRALIA WIDE.